overcoming anxiety

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:6-8 NKJV)

It is extremely important that I begin today's writing in confession--in raw honesty, so that there is no misconception of who I am and who I believe myself to be. I am acutely aware of my MANY flaws and I fully and wholeheartedly grasp the amazing comprehension of how I have been saved through Christ Jesus. There isn't a breath that goes through my body that does not scream and leap for joy, in all that He has done for me.  With that said, let us begin.

I cannot recall when in my adulthood it happened, but at some point I developed the ability to cope with physical and mental pressure in an infantile way, comparable to that of a five year old.  There have been times in which I feel as though I am emotionally drowning; slowly and torturously being pulled into a dark pit where I am forced to make the laborious decision of where my faith and my trust lies. Time and time again, I react in a manner that spirals dysfunctional out of control and violently contaminates everyone around me. I had a conversation today with a very dear friend who is facing the most strenuous and painful time of her life and yet she handles herself with such grace and collection. She told me that everything is a test and that she chooses to focus on the blessings rather than the struggles. Impressed by her flood of positivity, I listened to her list all the areas where she has seen God present in her life--areas and situations where she is profoundly aware that help of such measure could come from nothing but HIM. Then she said something so subtle and sagacious--"it makes sense that life would begin to make sense now; God knows I couldn't handle anything else." She meant this with such simple honesty. She literally is at a breaking point and unaffected because she has the shelter of knowing that God has her precise limits in mind all the time. He knows that she can handle exactly up to a particular point, but nothing beyond that because it would be too much. And, she is okay with that. What a revelation to my heart!

Can positivity spiral in the same way as negativity? Who fed us the lie that it is seemingly easier to target the adversity in life than it is to dwell in the guarded haven of that which is good? My desire is to train my mind and my heart, in a way that does not acknowledge anxiety, but rather, dwells in a place of peace. I choose now to be thankful. Perhaps that is a good place to start.
Happy Monday,
Sarah