motherhood

Ever since  can remember, I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother. In my mind, there is nothing more satisfying. As a little girl, I don't ever recall dreaming of a wedding and what flowers I would chose, what color dresses my bridesmaids would wear, and what songs would be playing at my picturesque event. Rather, I remember hanging onto the idea of  matrimonial bliss that would transpire post wedding with my husband and beautify children. Now, I have reached a point in life where I have been blessed to marry the perfect man for me; a loving, helpful, hardworking, selfless, and generous man. We have a beautiful daughter, Grace, who keeps us on our toes every second of the day and three pets who fill our home with an extra touch of love and laughter. In the midst of this childhood "picturesque" life, it hasn't been until recently that I have been able to appreciate the true beauty in motherhood.

Working full time has been a great struggle for me since having my daughter. I have searched high and low to find the "perfect" career, only to bow down to my hearts true desire--to be a stay home mother. I have been unsatisfied by all things because I have always thought that a "true" mother is a woman who lets go of a career in order to stay home and take care of her husband and children. She tends to the needs of her family and home from the time she wakes, until she goes to sleep at night. However, this is not something that can be attained in my family at the moment and at times, I have harbored bitterness in my heart.

Recently, I have been searching my heart on a quest to discover the attributes of a true mother. Am I enough for my family? Is my house clean enough? In the midst of my stressful, anxiety ridden work day, how will I ever accomplish everything that my husband, child, and house need from me?
I'm going to break it down very simply...just like mothers come in different shapes and sizes, mothers also make different choices for their families. Is it wrong for some moms to work, leaving a child in the care of a grandparent, babysitter, or day care? Is it better to stay home with your child, nurturing them and tending to your home? These are questions that fill my mind every single day. I have learned to be at peace with where I am. I have a wonderful job that allows my family to live comfortably and it comes with hours that give me freedom to pick my child up from school several days a week and spend my evenings with my family. Grace is either the care of my husband or myself and I do  feel blessed and at peace with my family's situation. However,  I still pray everyday that God will grant me the desire of my heart, to have another child and to be a stay home mother.

I don't have all the answers and I, unfortunately, cannot offer much advice. I ask that you will comment below with any encouragement or beneficial advice.

To all of you beautiful mommy's,
Cheers!

Momma Hatch